LCBTC Round 2: To Storm a City . . Link to the Lego Castle Building Techniques Contest.
So, young knight, you feel like storming a castle? Getting some loot? Or perhaps just for the fun of it? Well, sit down and prop up your feet, because it will take me a bit to explain the process.
Now, where should we start… I suppose the resources you’ll need for such a venture would be a good place to begin. You’ll need approximately two times as many men as there are inside the city ( although it has been done with less, by great leaders; we often give them the title of ‘the great’ for such feats). Food and water are necessary, as are arms and armament for your troops. But, of course, promise anyone enough money and they’ll do whatever the heck you want them to do! Just look at politics!
Anyhow, the next step is besieging the city. How they did it in the olden days was to cut off all food, water, and wifi so that those inside are helpless. Then, all you have to do is wait. And wait. And wait. For usually 1-5 years, depending on how large the city is. Now, if you are one of those impatient Centennials, you can do it the fast way; storm the walls with siege ladders and/or go underneath it. Obviously, there will be men (unless it is a village of Amazons) defending the city at all costs. Make sure to plant the bases of your siege ladders away from the wall, so the enemy can’t push them over. Large wooden shields will help protect your archers from enemy fire. Just watch out for pyromancers!
Once you have successfully overwhelmed the defenders, you must take control of the people. You have a few options open to you, most of them gruesome:
1. Turn them into slaves! There are always people looking for farmhands and the like.
2. Commit mass genocide! All great communist leaders did this! (On second thought, maybe this isn’t the best or most humane idea…)
3. Subject the people to your rule! Nobody liked the old governor anyways…
If you go with options 1 or 2, feel free to loot and raid their homes! With option 3, looting might not be the best idea… you might find a knife in your backside rather soon.
The final thing to do is celebrate! Get out the best wines, ransack their kitchens, whatever it takes to make you happy with your victory! (and the amount of lives you ruined)
Of course, all this is only possible if you actually manage to capture the city… Ah, you’ll be fine; after all, you got all your professional tips and tricks from me!
Now go and be a good little conquerer!
I hope you enjoyed my little tutorial. :)
C&C is appreciated!
The King reigns… And His Son!