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Holiday Double-Jeopardy Doomsday Machine
Here I offer a geopolitical adaptation of a strategic deterrent the wife and I once used to keep the peace in the back seat on family car trips, and just in time for Christmas!
About this creation
Please feel free to look over the images and skip the verbiage.

Everybody talks about "Peace on Earth" this time of year. Well, I decided to do something about it. (You'll thank me later.)



Taking cues from Dr. Strangelove and favorite builders Gabor Pauler and jds 7777, I've constructed a Holiday "Double-Jeopardy Doomsday Machine" (DJDM) to ensure peace on Earth for many Christmases to come. Or else.



The "double-jeopardy" part refers to a deterrent my wife and I used to deploy on family car trips: Any act of back seat aggression on the part of either kid got both of them in big trouble every time. It was really just the Cold War doctrine of "mutually assured destruction" (MAD) with an unwavering third party (the united parental units) dishing out the retaliation.



The DJDM supersizes double-jeopardy to geopolitical proportions and kicks up the deterrence by removing the triggering from human control a la Herman Kahn's doomsday device and the Soviet Union's Dead Hand second-strike system.



Though they may be horrified to find out that they had any part in this, Gabor Pauler and jds 7777 contributed suggestions leading to the weaponization of Dubble°°Bubble, the fun-loving no-frills speedboat now serving as the DJDM's navigation platform.

On this page:


DJDM

As so often happens when one sets foot on the slippery slope of weaponization, I slipped and went straight to the bottom: The DJDM wouldn't just ruin a country or a continent or a hemisphere. If ever used, the petaton warhead on its NBNM (Nasty Big Nuclear Missile) would reduce the entire planet to a smoking cinder.



Ka-boom!



Now, here's where the "doomsday machine" part comes in. Detection of a nuclear first-strike of any size anywhere on Earth triggers the launch sequence, and nothing can stop it.

The DJDM cares not a whit who started it or why.











Since spy satellites see only the missile, not the boat underneath, the DJDM can hide from analysts in plain sight.



"Say, Nell, what do you make of that funny-looking black and white thing with the orange cap floating around down there all by itself? I'm thinking NBNM."



"Seeing floating missiles again, eh, Dudley? Get a grip! It's just another shaving cream can. Third one this week."

Well, to be perfectly honest, there are some NBNMs floating around out there all by themselves. But not to worry -- they're probably too wet to go off.



After outfitting Dubble°°Bubble for its new role, I redesignated it an SSNP (Semi-Submersible Navigation Platform). After all, you can't very well go around pitching for billion-dollar military contracts with a wimpy acronym like "DB" -- especially when the "B" stands for "bubble".

The "semi-submersible" part reflects the fact the SSNP remains fully operational with its decks partly under water.





This capability was added in anticipation of the much heavier NBNM2, which will carry a second hardened exaton warhead to vaporize the smoking cinder left by the first.





Ka-boom!



Ka-booooooooom!



So please spread the word: There will be peace on Earth, with or without the Earth. The choice is ours, and the DJDM will be watching.

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With a little help from my friends

Gabor Pauler, one of the first to comment on Dubble°°Bubble, thought I should cover up the unsightly battery and receiver with a "Nasty Big Nuclear Missle Launcher" (NBNML).



Now, I like big nuclear missles as much as the next guy.



And I really liked the idea of hiding the battery and receiver. But I'd just gotten Dubble°°Bubble down to her lowest weight ever and wasn't ready to think about going in the opposite direction.



The next comment was from jds 7777, who pointed out that I didn't really have to use the AAA battery box to keep the bow down. I could accomplish the same thing with the lighter, better-performing PF rechargeable and a little (gasp) dead weight.

He was right, of course, but the mere thought of dead weight sent me into a panic, for at the time, I was still battling severe LNBP (legonecrobaryphobia, an irrational fear of dead weight in MOCs).

Sensing my phobia, jds 7777 then offered the following advice: Look at the needed ballast not as dead weight, but as an opportunity to add a function. This was a revelation, and the first added function to come to mind was -- what else? -- Gabor's NBNML.



NB: A word of warning about LNBP. While it can be hereditary, it's usually acquired. I got mine from building too many no-frills LEGO® speedboats like the original Dubble°°Bubble and Triton here.



On any speedboat serious about the "speed" part, you see, everything onboard has to justify its weight. It took Gabor and jds 7777 to remind me that I'd elevated weight reduction from means to end in Dubble°°Bubble. "Dead weight" can pay handsomely now and then.

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Specifications
Please click here for Dubble°°Bubble's specifications prior to weaponization.

Hull configuration:Semi-submersible catamaran
Overall dimensions:420 x 224 x [] mm (LxWxH) with NBNM stowed
Displacement:791 g
Weapon system:Single NBNM
Range:Irrelevant
Steering:Differential power to props
Electrical power supply:7.4V from PF Li polymer rechargeable
Bluetooth receiver:SBrick
SBrick control interface:"Jurgen's Excavator" profile on Android phone
Modified LEGO® parts:Prop hubs
Non-LEGO® parts:SBrick, props, electrician's tape
Credits:Original MOC with help from Gabor Pauler and jds 7777
See also:Dubble°°Bubble

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Comments

 I made it 
  January 19, 2018
Quoting Nirds forprez Lol..... I just saw this. Rest assured, I read on with ever-increasing terror.
Sorry about that! At least we can take comfort in knowing that the North Korean affair will get resolved one way or the other -- with either diplomacy or a smoking planetary cinder. Oh, wait! There won't even be a cinder! I just got the NBNM2 working!
 I like it 
  January 19, 2018
Lol..... I just saw this. Rest assured, I read on with ever-increasing terror.
 I like it 
  June 15, 2016
Flash a-ah! Savior of the Universe! Flash! He'll save every one of us! from ourselves..
 I like it 
  June 12, 2016
Oops!
 I made it 
  June 11, 2016
Quoting Clayton Marchetti Ha ha ha ha! This is hilarious. Emmmmm English muffin toasted gently.
Glad you enjoyed it, Clayton! You're close: Mexican wedding cookie and blowtorch.
 I like it 
  June 11, 2016
Ha ha ha ha! This is hilarious. Emmmmm English muffin toasted gently.
 I made it 
  December 31, 2015
Quoting Nick Barrett One of the funniest posts of the year, thanks for assuring our destruction Jeremy :-) Happy New Year (if there is one...)
Deeply flattered, Nick! It was the least I could do for my beloved planet and fellow AFOLs. The wife called dibs on the tub for her traditional New Years Eve bath to wash out the old and lather in the new, so you're safe till then.
 I like it 
  December 31, 2015
One of the funniest posts of the year, thanks for assuring our destruction Jeremy :-) Happy New Year (if there is one...)
 I like it 
  December 27, 2015
"I'd wait to see if Trump gets the nomination" Ha Ha :)
 I made it 
  December 26, 2015
Quoting Oliver Becker I anticipated a top on top of this, but I realized this as a response to Gabor's comment! Great statement in the "global" pics, Jeremy! And peace on earth would be probably more to realize, if we use humor as a weapon 'cause THIS works disarming... ;) I hope you'll be the disarming nonchalant also next year,my friend! :)
Thanks, Oliver! I'd planned to have the DJDM roam the seas like a missile sub, but realized (i) that it doesn't really matter where a planet-cinderizing NBNM goes off, and (ii) that launching it is pretty much just a formality. Hence, the DJDM will hide from spy satellites in my tub, as Topsy suggested. The simplified logistics will allow the DJDM to work for world peace indefinitely, except when the wife takes a bath.
 I like it 
  December 26, 2015
I anticipated a top on top of this, but I realized this as a response to Gabor's comment! Great statement in the "global" pics, Jeremy! And peace on earth would be probably more to realize, if we use humor as a weapon 'cause THIS works disarming... ;) I hope you'll be the disarming nonchalant also next year,my friend! :)
 I made it 
  December 26, 2015
Quoting Navy Person Kaboom! Awesome job, Jeremy! I love the shots of those unlucky planets (I still cant quite make out what those things are). Happy Holidays to you and everyone around you! ~ Navy
Many thanks, Navy! We had a great one -- hope you did, too! The smoking cinders started out as a Mexican wedding cookie. Holding it over a gas stove burner on high did the rest. If the sacrifice of a perfectly good cookie to MOCpages doesn't show my commitment to this site, nothing will.
 I like it 
  December 26, 2015
Kaboom! Awesome job, Jeremy! I love the shots of those unlucky planets (I still cant quite make out what those things are). Happy Holidays to you and everyone around you! ~ Navy
 I made it 
  December 25, 2015
Quoting jds 7777 Your welcome! For my sake, I hope everyone behaves. I may have to build some sort of shuttle so I can go colonize mars or something if everyone doesn't. Hopefully I'll be posting again soon! Stupid computer bugs...
Looking forward to seeing the shuttle! Mars should be far enough away if the DJDM goes off, but you might want to consider a moon of Jupiter or Saturn just to be safe. Remember, though, somebody would have to set off a nuke for that to happen, and they'd have to be pretty stupid to try a stunt like now. I'd wait to see if Trump gets the nomination.
 I made it 
  December 25, 2015
Quoting Elk Guard Great job!
Thanks, EG! Merry Christmas!
 I like it 
  December 25, 2015
Great job!
 I like it 
  December 24, 2015
Your welcome! For my sake, I hope everyone behaves. I may have to build some sort of shuttle so I can go colonize mars or something if everyone doesn't. Hopefully I'll be posting again soon! Stupid computer bugs...
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting Topsy Creatori Welllll.... so long as it stays only int the bathtub, I think the world will be okay. Of course it might be fun to put Donald in there and give him a good soaking! AND... A Happy Christmas to you and yours! :)
Many thanks, Topsy, and same to you! Sorry, the DJDM will be roaming the global ocean on its own once I get the battery change and preventive trigger maintenance logistics worked out. My own fantasies for the Donald go far beyond soaking. Though I can think of more than I can count personally, anyone in need of a good reason not to let him anywhere near the White House need look no farther than the DJDM.
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting Gabor Pauler Well, Jeremy, had the USA react as quickly on mad dictators as you reacted on my request for putting there ICBM, the Earth would be certainly a happier and more peaceful place. Maybe filled with a little bit more Starbucks Coffes, high school X-ray gates, and "do not dry the cat in microwave"-warnings on product packagings. But alltogether these typical American stuffs are not nearly as harmful as mad dictators. Merry Xmas.
Thanks, Gabor! Glad you approve of my use of your visionary idea. Recently read in Steven Pinker's latest book on human violence that the vast majority of violent deaths in all of the 20th century were directly attributable to mad dictators, so I couldn't agree more. Wait, you can dry a cat in a microwave?
 I like it 
  December 24, 2015
Welllll.... so long as it stays only int the bathtub, I think the world will be okay. Of course it might be fun to put Donald in there and give him a good soaking! AND... A Happy Christmas to you and yours! :)
 I like it 
  December 24, 2015
Well, Jeremy, had the USA react as quickly on mad dictators as you reacted on my request for putting there ICBM, the Earth would be certainly a happier and more peaceful place. Maybe filled with a little bit more Starbucks Coffes, high school X-ray gates, and "do not dry the cat in microwave"-warnings on product packagings. But alltogether these typical American stuffs are not nearly as harmful as mad dictators. Merry Xmas.
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting Walter Lee LOL. Yeah - It's a persistent public relations concern when building functional Lego models - the fear of an AFOL going rogue and building a thermonuclear device or WMD. You just have to keep telling people your MOCs are helping to keep the world safe for democracy. ;-)
You know, Walter, I'd been fancying myself a toymaker who happens to work in LEGO lately, but your "rogue AFOL" is =way= cooler than that. But wait! I can be both -- kindly Guipetto one moment, staunch self-appointed champion of Peace on Earth the next. Rushing out to get the spandex...
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting jds 7777 Wow. It's not often a comment on Mocpages inspires world-wide mass destruction, excuse me, "cinderation". Some how this went from innocent performance racing boats to slightly less-innocent performance racing boats carrying massively powerful weaponry that will be used at the slightest provocation! I laughed through the whole post. The fact that you chose to release this on Christmas Eve just makes it even better, if a bit morbid. :) But I suppose it's just one of the side effects of LNBP...
Oh, forgot to thank you for helping me get my LNBP under control. Thinking of dead weight as a function opportunity really takes the edge off.
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting jds 7777 Wow. It's not often a comment on Mocpages inspires world-wide mass destruction, excuse me, "cinderation". Some how this went from innocent performance racing boats to slightly less-innocent performance racing boats carrying massively powerful weaponry that will be used at the slightest provocation! I laughed through the whole post. The fact that you chose to release this on Christmas Eve just makes it even better, if a bit morbid. :) But I suppose it's just one of the side effects of LNBP...
Well, if everybody behaves, there won't be any cinderation. And as for the timing, I'm just following NORAD's lead on Holiday propagandizing. Really glad you enjoyed it, JDS. May you be forgiven for your unwitting contribution.
 I like it 
  December 24, 2015
Wow. It's not often a comment on Mocpages inspires world-wide mass destruction, excuse me, "cinderation". Some how this went from innocent performance racing boats to slightly less-innocent performance racing boats carrying massively powerful weaponry that will be used at the slightest provocation! I laughed through the whole post. The fact that you chose to release this on Christmas Eve just makes it even better, if a bit morbid. :) But I suppose it's just one of the side effects of LNBP...
 I made it 
  December 24, 2015
Quoting Walter Lee LOL. Yeah - It's a persistent public relations concern when building functional Lego models - the fear of an AFOL going rogue and building a thermonuclear device or WMD. You just have to keep telling people your MOCs are helping to keep the world safe for democracy. ;-)
Thanks, Walter! Yes, and the PR burden is that much greater when you build a WPC (weapon of planet cinderization) to keep the world safe for life itself. So rather than appeal to cold, hard strategic logic, I've hired the ad guy who got the major networks to televise NORAD tracking Santa's progress as he flies down from the North Pole to distribute presents to good little boys and girls -- kinda like a MIRV, only jollier.
  December 24, 2015
LOL. Yeah - It's a persistent public relations concern when building functional Lego models - the fear of an AFOL going rogue and building a thermonuclear device or WMD. You just have to keep telling people your MOCs are helping to keep the world safe for democracy. ;-)
 
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