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Jokes and puns
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 Group admin 
Since several other groups have threads for jokes, I thought that this group needed one as well!


Here are the rules (additional rules may be added later):

Originality of your jokes will be appreciated, but not required.

Jokes and puns must be appropriate. Please keep jokes to the level PG or lower.

Dark humor is allowed, if used right.

And most importantly, have fun!
Permalink
| January 6, 2019, 11:36 am
 Group moderator 
Why did the chicken cross the road?

:P

Permalink
| January 18, 2019, 12:00 am
How does Moses make his tea?
Permalink
| January 21, 2019, 4:35 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Meepinater C.
How does Moses make his tea?

He makes it red. Red Sea/tea
Permalink
| January 21, 2019, 5:36 pm
Quoting Wolf Pack
He makes it red. Red Sea/tea

No, he-brews it.
Permalink
| January 21, 2019, 5:37 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Meepinater C.
No, he-brews it.

Oh. Nice. :P
Permalink
| January 21, 2019, 5:38 pm
Quoting Wolf Pack
Oh. Nice. :P

Thanks.
Permalink
| January 21, 2019, 5:43 pm
 Group admin 
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: You barium :P
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 9:40 am
 Group moderator 
Quoting Master Chen7677
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: You barium :P

Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 9:46 am
Quoting Master Chen7677
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: You barium :P

That's bad.

Oh, and Wolf? Barium is an element.
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 11:23 am
 Group admin 
Quoting Wolf Pack
Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Barium is pronounced the same way as "bury 'em".
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 12:09 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Meepinater C.
That's bad.

Yeah, I thought so too :P
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 12:10 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Master Chen7677
Barium is pronounced the same way as "bury 'em".

Oh, ok. I'm not really too familiar with chemistry.
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 12:31 pm
Quoting Master Chen7677
Yeah, I thought so too :P

:P
Permalink
| January 22, 2019, 5:13 pm
 Group moderator 
These facts about explosives will blow you away.




xP
Permalink
| February 12, 2019, 4:29 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Wolf Pack
These facts about explosives will blow you away.




xP

Oof.
Permalink
| February 12, 2019, 5:00 pm
Quoting Wolf Pack
These facts about explosives will blow you away.




xP

Very intriguing.
I did not previously know that about dynamite.
Permalink
| February 12, 2019, 5:34 pm
Quoting Wolf Pack
Oh, ok. I'm not really too familiar with chemistry.

lol me tho and iím taking chemistry xP
Permalink
| February 12, 2019, 8:21 pm
 Group moderator 
I'm thinking about visiting Switzerland.
Their flag is a big plus.
Permalink
| February 16, 2019, 9:58 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Wolf Pack
I'm thinking about visiting Switzerland.
Their flag is a big plus.

I don't get it xD
Permalink
| February 17, 2019, 5:53 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Silverwing 05
I don't get it xD

Their flag is literally a big plus sign.
Permalink
| February 17, 2019, 9:41 pm
 Group admin 
Did you know that I just bought a third arm? Unfortunately, it cost me an arm and a leg, so now I'm missing one limb.

(Dodges hailstorm of tomatoes)
Permalink
| March 23, 2019, 10:18 am
 Group admin 
A truck loaded with Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
Permalink
| March 29, 2019, 11:37 am
 Group moderator 
Quoting Master Chen7677
A truck loaded with Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

-_-
Permalink
| March 29, 2019, 12:00 pm
 Group moderator 
I once saw a man get his hand stuck in a toaster.

Then I saw five firetrucks and a police car.
Permalink
| March 30, 2019, 4:22 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Silverwing 05
I once saw a man get his hand stuck in a toaster.

Then I saw five firetrucks and a police car.

I think the punchline went over my head :P I'll need to think about this one.
Permalink
| March 30, 2019, 4:37 pm
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: Insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Permalink
| April 7, 2019, 4:14 pm
Quoting Red Thor
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: I dunno, ask me again.
Q: What is the definition of insanity?
A: Insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

:p
That's good.
Permalink
| April 7, 2019, 11:54 pm
Quoting Meepinater C.
:p
That's good.

Thanks!
Permalink
| April 8, 2019, 9:19 pm
 Group admin 
I threw out my shoulder yesterday...

...the garbage man was concerned (think about it).
Permalink
| April 9, 2019, 9:21 pm
 Group moderator 
What happens when you press the accelerator and the brake at the same time?

The car takes a screenshot.
Permalink
| June 13, 2019, 8:05 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Silverwing 05
What happens when you press the accelerator and the brake at the same time?

The car takes a screenshot.

xD
That's pretty good.
Permalink
| June 14, 2019, 11:24 am
Quoting Master Chen7677
I threw out my shoulder yesterday...

...the garbage man was concerned (think about it).

That.
Is a bad joke. Well done.
Permalink
| June 15, 2019, 6:31 pm
 Group moderator 
The reason people say 'congrats' is because they don't know how to spell congratshoolayshunz.
Permalink
| June 15, 2019, 8:12 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Meepinater C.
That.
Is a bad joke. Well done.

Thank you :P
Permalink
| June 15, 2019, 9:16 pm
 Group admin 
Quoting Silverwing 05
The reason people say 'congrats' is because they don't know how to spell congratshoolayshunz.

So true xD
Permalink
| June 15, 2019, 9:16 pm
My housemates are convinced the house is haunted.


And I'm not about to call them out but I've lived here for 284 years and the notion never struck me.
Permalink
| June 15, 2019, 10:28 pm
 Group admin 
I just saw an advertisement for a British weight-loss system. It said "Lose 50 pounds in 5 minutes"...


...Which, in American dollars, is "Lose $63.33 in 5 minutes" :P
Permalink
| June 21, 2019, 12:27 pm
 Group moderator 
Quoting Master Chen7677
I just saw an advertisement for a British weight-loss system. It said "Lose 50 pounds in 5 minutes"...


...Which, in American dollars, is "Lose $63.33 in 5 minutes" :P

I wonder how you do that. Buy $63.33 worth of Chinese Lego knockoffs?
Permalink
| June 21, 2019, 5:59 pm
I | II
II | I_

let's see if anyone gets this
Permalink
| July 9, 2019, 6:14 pm
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